Creative people are real-life superheros

I feel like my creative mind is trapped within the bounds of reality.

What do I mean by that?

I mean everyday I’m forced to push the creative sparks within my mind away in order to focus on the bore of day to day work. Instead of working on my novel, I’m forced to do mindless work in front of a computer screen that always seems too bright.

Instead of creating and than editing a video when I get home from my boring job, I have to do homework for classes I couldn’t care less about. It always seems my passions must wait so that “reality” things can be done. As I sit at a job I’m getting paid way too little to do, my mind starts to wander to all the things I rather be doing. It’s funny, my therapist said early on in our sessions that she could just tell if I’m not in a career where I can be creative while also helping other, humans and/or animals, I will not be happy. She couldn’t be more right. I’m not the type of person who can handle a same, every day, boring 9-5 job. Each day, between work and school, I can feel the creativity fire within me dim as the problems of the real world overcrowd it. I pray every day that my life will lead me down a path where I can be happy and creative but also successful. Where instead of waking up with knots in my tummy dreading the day ahead, I wake up excited for what this new day has in store.

I’ve spoke of this before and I’ll say it again here, today’s world is not built for creative people. We are the outcasts, the one’s with so many passions it’s impossible to just pick one. The ones who refuse to let their special spark die no matter how many times life throws water at it. But we are also the ones who have the power to bring magic and joy into an otherwise dark world. In a society overcome with pain, darkness and sadness, we are the one’s who can bring light. Think of the creative people that have brought joy to you. The one’s who found the way to use this beautiful power to help others. Actors, authors, directors, singers, etc. Now think about where they all started. They all began in the same place you and I are in right now. They began with a creative spark in their heart, a spark that continued to grow and grow. They began as young men and woman with a dream and a passion to bring their magic into other’s lives. All with a drive so strong that nothing and no one could keep them from accomplishing their goals, no matter how much they would try. If they can succeed, you can too. Us creative people truly are superheros. Don’t ever let anything or anyone take that power away. Hold onto the magic inside of you despite the challenges the real world brings. And finally, remember the only difference between you and the creative people you inspire to be is that they never gave up. Don’t ever give up.

Until next time my lovelies,

Kaylee D ❤

 

11 Things I do when anxiety and/or depression mess with my mind

Suffering with anxiety and depression since I was in middle school, I’ve slowly learned different things that I can do that helps ease my mind. Specifically if I’m having a really bad day due to my depression, I have a list of things I can do that usually help cheer me up and relax. So for today’s blog post, I thought it would be nice to share my list of things I do when my depression and anxiety are acting up in hopes that maybe something on my list will help others out there suffering too.

1. Listen to music

So the first thing I tend to do is one that I think many people who suffer from depression and/or anxiety do as well, listen to music. Music truly has a way of relaxing your mind and healing you. When I’m really not feeling okay, I put on my headphones and start listening to music on Spotify. This past Christmas my mom got me the beats solo 3 headphones in white and than also got me Disney tsum tsum skin it for them! These have became my all time favorite headphones and I do not leave the house without them! The music I listen to tends to change but for the last couple months my go to album is Taylor Swift’s Reputation. I’m literally obsessed with every song on this album and something about her music just makes me feel better. I’ve always been a Taylor Swift fan but there’s just something with her new music that really appeals to me. I also recently saw The Greatest Showman and that entire soundtrack has now also been my go to when I’m not feeling right. There are multiple songs on that album that are so inspiring! Specifically, This is me and A million Dreams! It’s not uncommon for me to just have these two songs play over and over because I never get tired of listening to them!

2. Take a hot shower

If I’m feeling really anxious or really out of it, the first thing I normally want to do is take a shower. There’s just something about being in the shower, alone with my thoughts that is strangely comforting. Recently I found out that if I sit down in the shower and let the hot water pour over me almost like rain, it’s very relaxing. The mixture of the hot water, the sound the water makes and the feel of the water hitting my skin creates a calming atmosphere. A lot of times I’ll sit down and just breathe slowly, clearing my mind of anything other than that moment. It’s a weird type of meditation method but it usually helps. Most of the time, I walk out of the shower feeling much more relaxed.

3. Watch YouTube videos

I honestly feel like YouTube was one of the best creations. Not only did it create a new outlet for people to get their voice out there and become famous, but it also created a platform for people to watch videos of all different kinds. My favorite YouTube channel is definitely Good Mythical Morning. Rhett and Link have become idols to me and I know if I’m ever feeling depressed or anxious, I can just watch their videos and instantly I feel better. They never fail to make me smile and laugh with all the crazy things they do on their show. Other YouTubers that I tend to watch when I’m feeling out of it include Jenna Marbles, JonTron, Kalyn Nicholson, Rooster Teeth, and Funhaus. I’m always so inspired by YouTubers and hope this is the year I finally grow enough courage to create a channel of my own.

4. Write anything

When I say anything, I mean anything. If I’m anxious or depressed, writing always helps to calm my mind. Whether it’s working on one of the novels I’m writing, writing a new poem, journaling, or even just writing down my favorite quotes, writing is very therapeutic for me. My dream is to be an author one day so writing is obviously very important in my life. Getting my thoughts down on paper specifically though really does help calm my mind and take the edge off, most of the time.

5. Organize/clean the room

At the moment, my fiancé and I live between both his house and my grandma’s house. It’s exhausting and gets really hard pretty much living through a bag. Due to this, I get very stressed out over the whole situation and both his room and my room tend to get very cluttered and unorganized. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I often will reorganize and straighten up my surroundings. I honestly believe it’s true that when your place is a mess, your life tends to be one too. It’s hard to think clearly when you’re surrounded by junk and you keep losing your stuff because there is no organization. Straightening up whatever room I’m in that day really does help ease my mind, even if it’s only a temporary fix. I also tend to listen to my music while cleaning which helps even more.

6. Watch a TV Show

Lately I’ve been obsessed with watching South Park. When I was younger, I swore I would never like a show like this but Tom got me hooked and now I can’t stop watching. A lot of times if I’m feeling depressed, Tom and I will watch a few episodes of South Park to cheer me up. You can’t help but laugh at the things Cartman and his friends go through on that show. Another show I’ll tend to watch is Jersey Shore. I loved Jersey Shore when it first aired and now years later I decided to re-watch the entire series before the reunion special this summer! Sometimes this helps but other times watching this show just reminds me of the past and who I used to be when this show first aired and it makes me feel worse so this isn’t always the best option to cheer me up.

7. Play a video game

Playing video games is one of the best stress relievers I have found out there. Especially if it’s a game where your character can fight things, lol. My go to game right now is South Park’s Fractured But Whole. The game is a lot of fun and centers around fighting other characters so if I’m really anxious, playing this game definitely helps to take the edge off.

8. Color or draw

I can’t be the only one who was psyched when adult coloring books became a thing. I loved coloring when I was little and love it even more now that I’m an adult. If I’m feeling anxious, pulling out one of my many adult coloring books and my set of fine point markers always helps to calm my mind. If I’m feeling particularly ambitious,  I may pull out my sketch book instead and actually draw and color my own picture. Either way, coloring and drawing lets me escape from reality for just a little while.

9. Punch my punching bag

I have wanted a punching bag for years now and this past Christmas Tom actually bought me one, complete with pink boxing gloves. Not only is punching a great exercise routine but it’s an amazing stress relief. If I’m angry, anxious, or just not feeling okay, I put on my gloves and punch the crap out of the bag. Unfortunately, my bag is at my grandma’s so I can only do this when I’m there. When I’m there though, this technique always helps me and I walk away feeling much better than I did before I began punching.

10. Create a Perler Bead creation

I love Perler beads. I loved them when I was little and now that I’m older, I enjoy creating more difficult creations. There is something extremely relaxing to me when I am creating a new perler bead creation. If I didn’t suffer from back pain from being hunched over for so long, I would create so many more creations than I do now. Still though, this is one of my go to tips when I’m feeling super anxious.

11. Read a book

Unfortunately I don’t have much time to read like I used to. I’ve always loved reading though so if I’m feeling out of it or anxious, picking up a book usually helps to calm my mind. Escaping to another world and leaving the stress of reality for even just a little while does wonders. I think this is the main reason I dream of being an author. Of creating a book that helps others escape from their life for just a little bit. Some authors that inspire me include J.K Rowling, Dean Koontz, and Stephen King.

 

So there you have it, the 11 things that I do to help when I’m feeling depressed or anxious. Of course this list will probably grow as time goes on but for right now, these 11 things usually help me. I hope you enjoyed this post and if there is any tip or trick you may have, feel free to comment below! I’d love to hear how others deal with depression and anxiety! Thanks again for reading! 😀

My 2018 Goals/resolutions!

The year of changes

Now that I’ve reflected on 2017 in a previous post, I thought it would be fun to share with you all my goals and resolutions for the New Year! Many people don’t like the idea of resolutions but I find writing them down at the beginning of the year is very inspirational to me because I know exactly what I want to accomplish and it puts me in a better mind set to actually achieve these things. So without further ado, my 2018 resolutions/goals!

1. Buy a house before our wedding!- This is my #1 goal of this year, more than anything I want Tom and I to have our own home before we say I do October 28th!
2. Eat healthier and try to eat 3 meals a day
3. Drink more water
4. Get fit by joining the gym and spend less time laying in bed and more time being active
5. Graduate college with two associate degrees
6. Get a real, permanent job
7. Document everything!
8. Learn to love myself
9. Live in the moment and cherish every moment
10. Let go of the past
11. Be more positive, try to look more on the bright side and less on what is wrong
12. Save enough money for our Disney honeymoon
13. Save enough money to buy a new camera, ideally the Sony a6500
14. Work more on self-care
15. Start a Youtube channel, something I’ve wanted to do for years but keep putting off due to fear
16. Write something every day
17. Read at least one book a month
18. Work on controlling my anger and temper
19. Dedicate more time and energy to selling thirty-one
20. Dedicate more time to my blog, post daily or at least twice a week
21. Finish the final draft of my novel “Scare fair”
22. Finish the first draft of my novel “Scare fair, Book 2
23. Go to sleep and wake up at a set time every day
24. Dive more into photography, take pictures every day and do more photoshoots
25. Rediscover God in my life, learn to trust him and have faith

I’m sure things will be added to this list as we get more and more into the new year but for now, I’m happy with the list I have made. When watching one of my favorite Youtubers the other night, she said that it’s helpful to have a personal motto for the new year. This can be a phrase or a word that relates to the big picture you want from 2018. For me, my 2018 motto is simply the word “change”. 2018 is the year of changes for me in so many ways but one of the biggest changes I hope 2018 will bring is in my mental health and the way I look at myself. A year from now, I want to be able to confidently say that I love the person I am and am happy with what i’ve accomplished. I think the idea of having a motto is a great way to keep that inspiration alive throughout the entire year! 😀

Reflecting on 2017

A year I will never forget

So I know this post is a bit late considering we are already 7 days into the new year but better late than never. I still can not believe it is 2018! When I look back on all the memories of 2017, I can not help but smile! Obviously, the biggest thing to happen to me in 2017 was getting engaged to my best friend! It’s crazy to think by the end of this year, I will be a wife! Since July, I have had so much fun wedding planning, booking our venue and vendors, and of course choosing my bridesmaids and maid of honor!

2017 also taught me a ton of lessons, the biggest being that I really can accomplish things if I work hard enough. When my boss suggested hiring me as a temp. program assistant back in May, I nearly passed out! I was so scared of all this new responsibility, especially having to interact with students, handle cash, and worse of all for me, talk on the phone to strangers! But now here we are almost 8 months later and I realize that job was the best thing to happen to me! I’m sad that that position unfortunately ended Dec. 29th, but the experience and confidence I gained from working there will follow me into this next year of my life.

Another huge accomplishment for me this year was getting back behind the wheel. Now, I still am not driving by myself but just the fact that I am willing to drive again is huge and something I didn’t think would happen for a long time!

Of course, with all the good times, 2017 also had it’s hardships. I officially got diagnosed with arthritis, something I have still not fully come to terms with. I found out i’m borderline glaucoma in my eyes and that I have permanent damage within my left eye that must be treated with eye drops pretty much for the rest of my life. But the toughest thing of all was my mental health. Even though I started going to therapy, I noticed very little change in myself. Therapy helped me to open my eyes and see the root of my problems, however therapy also taught me the only one who can fix me is myself. I have really great patches where my mood is great and i’m motivated but than I have dark spells where my depression and anxiety take over and I don’t want to do anything. The two things I love more than anything in the world is writing and photography. That was why I started a blog, because it combines my two favorite things plus is a way that maybe I can help people. But even this was stopped because my depression was too strong. It’s been a rough past month but I refuse to let this be my story for 2018. 2018 is the year of changes for me. If all goes as planned, Tom and I will own our first house before we get married. Owning a home, being a wife and starting a family are things I have dreamed about since I was a little girl and it’s unreal to me that these dreams are coming true this year. 2017 is a year I will never forget, filled with memories and moments I will always cherish but I am ready for what this new year will bring to my life and hope that through everything, I can remain positive and overall happy! 🙂 So thank you 2017 for all you brought me and hello 2018, let’s make this the best year yet!! 🙂