Let’s think of anxiety as a seed
We are all born with this seed inside of us
For some people it will remain just that, a seed, for many many years
For a very lucky few, that seed may never change into anything else
But for the majority, that seed will remain a seed until a major trauma causes that seed to be buried
Often, this occurs at a young age
For instance, your parents divorcing as a child
This event has now caused the seed within to be buried or in other words, planted inside of you
Once again the seed will remain dormant as it waits for the necessary ingredients needed to grow
However, this seed has now become a ticking time bomb and the effects of the seed have already begun to show
For some, years go by, for others, mere months before the seed has enough nutrients that it can take root.
Usually, another big trauma will be what causes this little seed to finally sprout roots
For instance, the death of a close loved one
Now that the seed has rooted, each trauma, whether big or small, acts as water, sunshine and soil, helping the seed to grow and grow.
Bullying, abusive relationships, invalidations, disappointments, all are ingredients that help the seed to grow
Every tear that falls from your eyes is the equivalent of water being poured from a watering can
Slowly, the seed becomes a plant, and small leaves begin to sprout
These leaves are depression and the more nutrients the seed gets, the more leaves sprout
For some people, there are so many leaves, the entire plant is engulfed in them
For others, the leaves remain so small they don’t interfere with their life
And for those unlucky few, the leaves remain at an equal amount as the rest of the plant
As your life continues, slowly the plant grows larger and larger until it becomes so big, it has taken over every piece of your body.
That one little seed has now become a huge plant inhabiting each limb, each joint
Wrapping around your heart and your mind
When this happens, you can no longer ignore the plant inside of you for it is absorbing all your energy, all your happiness
The plant is so large it is blocking the light, swallowing all the joy in your life and replacing it with nothing but fear and sadness
Everything you do it affected by the monster plant that lives inside of you
And the only way to cut the plant down is to face all that made it grow in the first place
In order to kill the plant, you must forgive all the ones who did you wrong, all the people who made you cry
You must let go of everything from your past that helped the beast grow
You must overwhelm the plant with true pure light until it’s so bright, the plant begins to shrivel and die
By doing this, slowly the plant will wilt and piece by piece, fall apart
Until finally, there is nothing left of it except for that one little seed, lying dormant underneath the dirt
Waiting to once again take root within you
But you know now what it takes for that seed to grow
So let me ask you this, will you allow the seed to grow again?
Life as Kaylee 